12-13-23 WTF?!

 He came home. Obvious from the second he walked through the door. Of course, this triggers my fight or flight and I was in NO MOOD to fight, so I opted to just play with Charlie. He's sitting in his chair obviously stewing over something. I ask if he's ok. I sweetened my voice and everything. "Yea, I'm fine." with that attitude/tone that everything is indeed NOT ok. So I let him sit there. Trying to figure out if there's any possibility that this could be my fault...

In a little bit, I can see him still boiling and I said, "ok, what's wrong?" Again, not with attitude or "come at ya" tone, but with the kinda soft but "I know there's something up" thing. And then it began.

Please note - Charlie was yelling at him and getting upset saying "DADDY! Don't be mean to mommy! Don't shout at mommy!" I told K he's a sensitive kid and can sense and feel all this and he just doesn't see it. 

Highlights of why he's upset include:

  • I told him Marisa was going to meet us at Charlie's concert and "this is his first show, maybe it should be a family thing. You didn't even talk to me about it, you just told me." SERIOUSLY? What's the big fuckin' deal? It's our child's first Christmas concert, let the whole world come. And, she was the one who asked me if she could come. She's family. Whatever. 
    • This snowballed into me to communicating or talking to him and he always has to start conversation etc etc.
  • He told me over the weekend he cut Charlie's hair and I didn't say anything about it when I got home (truth be told, I don't like it so why am I going to compliment it.?) He says I put soooo much pressure on him and next time "FINE! YOU take him to get it done." I said ok, I will. 
  • When I left for my trip, I left the dishwasher full of dishes and he "did the dishes, wiped the counters, did laundry (washed not dried), and made sure the house was clean" and I am ungrateful and unappreciative because I didn't say anything. 
    • He shot himself in the foot with this because he commented "it's like this is just normal for you" and I said YES! It IS normal for me which is why I don't see it as a "big thing" that needs to be celebrated. This is stuff that should just be done
  • I never plan time for us. He asked if I scheduled Charlie for Friday (school has parents night out for $25) I said no. He rolled his eyes and got all upset because I dont plan anything and HE always has to do it. Um, last time I checked I planned the November 3rd event at Breezewood sooooooo...
  • Claims he's the 3rd wheel. I "got what I wanted" with Charlie and now he's just cast aside. He doesn't matter. No one loves him. Blah blah blah. Charlie WOULD be nicer to him if he wasn't such an ass (or realizes when he turns into an ass)
  • I'm not affectionate and he feels pathetic that he needs to ask me for hugs or compassion or whatever. He also claims I NEVER say I love you outside the realm of before bed and on the phone "which you say to everyone so why would it be special to me?"
  • I make everything about me (I still don't understand that) but something about me asking him what's wrong I tend to turn it back to me?
Through it all, I held my composure and refused to let it get to me. Kinda annoyed today and I know it shows. We shall see.

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