Air Mai - Under the Surface

Took mom to Classic Honda on Saturday and he told me NOT to let her sign anything. Well, she wound up putting a $500 deposit down through a car guy named Mitch (super nice) to secure the car. Non-refundable. K, however, was talking to a different guy and got a lower price. Didn't mention the $500 because I figured it was through Classic so it'd transfer. Last night Mitch calls and K plays the "is that the best you can do" card. He said yes. He said OK we're going through a different person. So he's getting things set with this other guy, same dealership, and called me today to say we need to go put a $500 deposit down. So I brought it up that mom already did...SHIT HIT THE FAN. He started whisper yelling at me (because he's at work) and saying that I lied to him and if I know sooooo much more than him, then we should handle it. He's done. "What language do you need to hear 'don't sign anything' for you to understand?!" I said I...

 So, I got roundhouse kicked in the face by a realization that is an extremely hard pill to swallow...I am not happy. But, I am also not willing/strong enough/ready(?) to make a change.  I know I need to talk to K and let him know where I'm at, but I just can't. I am not that strong. I have no clue how to even get there (aside from when he starts something because that's when the fire gets going and I feel better able to speak my truth.  Was watching Station 19 and the past couple episodes are just hitting WAY too close to home. Like, knocking at my front door close to home. Maya's mom leaves her dad (after 20 years) because she just accepted that he has been emotionally and mentally abusing her and she was done with it. Maya, of course, says her mom is all drama and doesn't believe her or want to believe her. Then, Andy is remembering how her dad and mom used to argue and the mom said "you're being critical of me" and Pru said "if I'm being c...