VA Getaway Shitstorm

 So last night and today was a shitstorm. 

I asked him to wake me up when he got up (he didn't) but luckily I got up. He was aloof. I gave him a kiss/hug. Got in the shower. Got out and Charlie was on laying on the floor. K came back and gave him a couple kisses then went to work.

I continued the morning. Got Charlie to DD and school. Checked in with K via text when I was at CLE, then at BWI, then ORF. I texted him to let him know that I got Tera's car and was heading to Joanne's.  So I'm at Joanne's and he facetimes me on the way home...and lays into me.

He. Was. Livid. I didn't talk to him all day. I didn't call him so he could talk to his son (which normally I DON'T if he gets to see him/give him kisses in the morning). Then he went on to reiterate over and over how heartless and cruel I am. After last night how could I be so callous to not call him or talk to him. He laid the fuck into me on FACETIME FULLY KNOWING that I'm at Joanne's single-bedroom apartment (i.e., sitting right next to her) . 

Joanne heard everything. She said she wished I had it recording. I was crying when I hung up. Her words "Maria, you don't deserve any of this..." I agree. The next hour (and rest of the night) was me apologizing to her and crying because of everything. 

This. Sucks. 

He played the "why are you even with me" card and honestly, if I were home, I would have said IDK. But,  I can't say/do anything while away. At this point, the reason I am with him is for Charlie--which is the wrong reason, but it's something. 

He texted me later and said "I am sorry for raising my voice. I feel how I feel but I should not raise my voice." But in this case, that was NOT the full issue. He was literally yelling at me saying that I am a cruel and heartless person. Over and over. It was awful. And, the feeling has been hanging on this entire weekend.

He's being "normal" on calls (normal as in not a dick). I'm smiling through gritted teeth. I'm putting on the happy face just to keep the peace and not make it seem like there's anything off--I don't feel comfortable being away from home and there being turmoil in the throes of whatever *this* is. Sigh. 

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