Big Blowout 10-24 Recap

What a fucking night. We were watching TV downstairs and Charlie got up so I ran up and he was laying down in our bed, then I heard K come up and could tell he was in a mood--there was that weird air about. So, I get ready for bed and he gets ready for bed and lays down before me and I went to give him a kiss and he gave me a peck begrudging. I asked if he was upset and he snarked back "no, why would I be?" But, with that tone/attitude that's like HELL YES, I'M PISSED. I asked if he wanted to try and move little man and he said "why, he'll be back in an hour anyway." And, I said IDK, I thought we could have "us" time and he lost his shit. He was upset because he claims I haven't been warm or given him a hug in, like, a week and now I wanted “us” time. 

I said yesterday you didn’t deserve one. That's when he started yelling even though Charlie was literally in the middle of the bed between us. "You crossed a fucking line tonight! Give me a fucking break!” I said be nicer to me. "BE NICER?! YOU’RE A FUCKING PRINCESS" at which point he woke up Charlie and Charlie said "daddy you scared me. Don’t do it again." And, snuggled into me. K apologized to Charlie and started back on me and I shushed him. And he repeated “be nicer? Fuck off.

You crossed a fucking line”. I said fuck off? He said he didn’t mean it. Then, that I only hear what I want. I said we're not talking about this in here. Charlie started waking up again and he got out of bed/left the room. Charlie fell back asleep on me so it was hard to get up but he came back in and was like "you coming???" I went in the living room and the crazy continued. 

 He f bombed like crazy and kept going on and on about how "perfect" I am and I can do no wrong and I said I never say that, YOU say that. And, then he went back to feeling like a spare tire and I just don't care and am boring and our sex isn’t fun. That I only want it when I want it, never when he does (even though he's 24/7 DTF). He doesn’t want pity sex and if I don't want to have sex with him FINE! He kept overinflating and saying we haven't done anything in weeks and I'm like hellllllo. Saturday! 

And, he said the party? And, I was like no. Before the party. "Oh, that was just a quickie. It didn't count. “You don’t touch me. You don’t blow me. You don’t play with me. Why do I disgust you!?” I said you don’t. He said he's dealing with hard time, too and told me he needed more warmth/hugs and I've given him NOTHING. Not today, not yesterday. Not Sunday. And, I said whoa, whoa, whoa...yesterday you did not deserve one with how you were treating me. "How the fuck do you say that to me!? 'I don't deserve it? Oh, that's a fucking great wife thing to say.'" I said with how

 you were treating me, no. You didn't. You came home looking for a fight and were picking at everything. He also went on to say that I never talk to him and I said he makes it incredibly hard to because of this (and gestured to him). I said your tone and demeanor...and he interrupted and said "of course, it's always me. You're just perfect." And, I said no, but when you get like this it makes me clam up and I don't want to talk to you. He continued baiting and arguing. "You don't know how good you have it! You should be thankful you have a husband who comes home every night! Compare yourself/look at your friends!" (Which I don't quite understand.) He kept arguing with me about it and I said I'd rather continue the conversation another time because it's late and we need to talk when cooler heads prevail. "Yea, ok. And, that never happens. You know what. Fuck this. I'm done." And storms into bed.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Transcription of Events 5-14

 Anniversary Eve. Manifesto came to light. He asked if I wanted a divorce. I said IDK. Conversation ensued. Transcribed version of events that I was able to record (for posterity and just for reference).  M:  I will say that. I don't think you're being completely serious, but you said, like, I feel like part of of you truly thinks at least a little that because there's a ring on your finger, I'm, like, essentially like a property. No.   K: Okay.. Okay, well, I'm sorry. I like this on my apology.   No. Okay. Never. You You're my partner. You're you're a team member, your partner, you're not my part. Okay.    Never, never. No. I'm sorry, go on.   M: Keeping score, you say you don't do it, but it feels like you do. An example, left a box on the bench for a few days and then said that I should have put it away. And I said, it's your box and you responded, yeah, but what was in it, Charlie's stuff and you said you'd take care of it.   ...
Read more

Good grief, the uneeded shenanigans!

Preface: So I’m trying to revise the way I do things. So instead of asking for permission for something I’m going to nicely just kind of lead in with this is what I’m going to do. Because I shouldn’t have to ask for permission to do things. Not to say I'd be all "HERE IS WHAT I'M DOING! DEAL WITH IT!" But less ask permission, more ease into this is what I'd like to do. So Tuesady night I said hey, do you have any plans on Monday night or anything going on? He said no why. I said well Bev would like to take me out to dinner for my birthday. He said OK...but why can’t you take you Tuesday? (Which is our normal night to get together because we do pilates.)  I’m like well we have pilates Tuesday and he said exactly. And I just kind of gave him the look and he said no it’s fine. So then as we’re getting ready for bed, I was like oh and don’t forget I have Cousin Jen coming in Friday night. And he said "oh, so you’re gonna be Doing your thing Monday, Tuesday, Wedne...
Read more

Response to the non-apology

I appreciate the email. I appreciate you being able to calmly, rationally, non-violently explain what is “wrong.” I do not appreciate how you choose to do it in real life and face-to-face. I agree, we feel the way we feel. We are all entitled that. Should we be able to talk and vent to each other? Of course. But, there’s an unspoken respect that that also needs to be present—one where name calling, yelling, condescension, swearing is checked at the door. I know you’re not happy. But honestly, I feel like you are never happy. There’s always something wrong. There’s always something that can be improved on. There’s rarely ever a time where you’re satisfied or just take the win for what it is. I’ve said this MANY times before: sometimes it’s OK to just be OK and enjoy/savor the little things. Not everything needs to be one-upped. Not everyone is out to get you or take advantage of you.  And, if you live your life expecting only the best 24/7, you’re going to be let down majority of th...
Read more