Kacie Call 10-27

I’m mad for you. #1 He doesn’t know shit about you-you. Oh breaks my heart…NO! Do something positive. Or act like a normal human being. Or go therapy yourself. His behavior that is the problem. Narcs are playing a chess game while they are trying to convince us we’re playing checkers. He goes off. He wants control. He doesn’t take responsibility. You’re standing up for yourself. Whether talking back or having these points. Now he’s picking and trying to get control back by basically judging my parenting or being extremely judgmental or condescending or mean. He’s trying to make me submissive.


You are NOT a bad a person. When this happens, we get pushed to a point where we blow. I’If you blow up or yell or scream you are NOT a bad person. You are not trying to hurt him, I really believe he is trying to hurt you. 

When he accuses you or name calling-that’s him trying to knock you off shore footing and gain control of situation. At that point there’s no talking to him. It’s all about winning the argument and regaining or taking control. 
 
Narcs begin from Extreme abandonment. They believe their own internal reality. For narcs to sit there and be like OMG Im making bad choices. It would destroy his belief system. When dealing with him using“I” statements gives me the platform to say I feel this, I feel that. “Well, prove it to me.” No, my feelings are real. And if you want to sit down and go back through the years, we go back to a new counselor. Do NOT get into the detailed conversation with him like this. 


You are not creating this station. You are not a bad person. You are standing your ground and that is foreign to you. You are non-confrontational. You don’t want to hurt him. He wants to hurt you. He wants control no matter how he can gain it. And the thing about write something nice? How bout you DO NICE THINGS and TREAT YOU WITH RESPECT. In this case, he doesn’t deserve nice things unless he does nice things from the heart. And not held over you. 

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