11-19-23 Shit Show Sunday

 So, as per usual. Shit Show Sunday. 

Admittedly, he DID say he's like us to be outside with him while he's working. He has mentioned that on many occasions. It was cold early and Charlie was not all about being outside. So he's inside with me and is threatening a nap - so I let him lay down and I was just working on stuff inside. Of course, time flies by and suddenly it's close to 2pm (when mom is coming over) and he still hasn't napped AND I still wasn't outside. He comes in and says, with typical Narcitude, "so I'm guessing you're just not going to go outside then?" Shit. 

Mom gets here and he's being his usual attitude self. Short answers when I ask him questions. Etc. Mom goes downstairs to play with Charlie and I have a literal breakdown. Break. Down. He wound up coming in and I said HEY! And, when to give him a hug and just lost it. We're talking sobbing and having trouble catching breath etc. And, he's like why are you so worked up? And, I told him I KNOW he's mad and I can't handle that. 

So we continue convo in our room and he pretty nuch said "thanks for recognizing why I was upset" but what it felt like was "thanks for recoggnizing YOU were the issue and YOU fucked up."

The night got better then worse. Charlie was a grinch to him and of course, hurt his feelings, so then we're all awkward and weird at night. Was trying to do those Gottman cards by the fire and he's all "you know the only way to work is for YOU to do this, too?" Ok, no biggies. So I answered some of them. But the night was just so BLAH.

Oh! He also got pissed because he does all these things for ME but I am so unappreciative. For instance he installed ceiling lights downstairs to shine on the pictures and on my medals. I didn't notice. :-x Not intentionally but I saw them and was like "cool" in my head. Well, of course that went over like a led balloon and I was not being appreciative. He even said how he needed a shower from all the dust and I said nothing. Honestly, I'm dense. I didn't think about it. I didn't realize it was that big a thing. Not trying to make light of it, but...

So then that brings me to wondering where is the line between HAVING to make a grand production and not. I'm sorry, I do a lot of things that I never get thanked for but it's not a big deal. Organizing the closet. Laundry (dead horse). Tidying Charlie's room. I get upset when I give him something and he doesn't care. Like the Friends cards. It's not something you can look past! He wants me to mind read exactly how much he does and what he does and I just can't do that. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Transcription of Events 5-14

 Anniversary Eve. Manifesto came to light. He asked if I wanted a divorce. I said IDK. Conversation ensued. Transcribed version of events that I was able to record (for posterity and just for reference).  M:  I will say that. I don't think you're being completely serious, but you said, like, I feel like part of of you truly thinks at least a little that because there's a ring on your finger, I'm, like, essentially like a property. No.   K: Okay.. Okay, well, I'm sorry. I like this on my apology.   No. Okay. Never. You You're my partner. You're you're a team member, your partner, you're not my part. Okay.    Never, never. No. I'm sorry, go on.   M: Keeping score, you say you don't do it, but it feels like you do. An example, left a box on the bench for a few days and then said that I should have put it away. And I said, it's your box and you responded, yeah, but what was in it, Charlie's stuff and you said you'd take care of it.   ...
Read more

Good grief, the uneeded shenanigans!

Preface: So I’m trying to revise the way I do things. So instead of asking for permission for something I’m going to nicely just kind of lead in with this is what I’m going to do. Because I shouldn’t have to ask for permission to do things. Not to say I'd be all "HERE IS WHAT I'M DOING! DEAL WITH IT!" But less ask permission, more ease into this is what I'd like to do. So Tuesady night I said hey, do you have any plans on Monday night or anything going on? He said no why. I said well Bev would like to take me out to dinner for my birthday. He said OK...but why can’t you take you Tuesday? (Which is our normal night to get together because we do pilates.)  I’m like well we have pilates Tuesday and he said exactly. And I just kind of gave him the look and he said no it’s fine. So then as we’re getting ready for bed, I was like oh and don’t forget I have Cousin Jen coming in Friday night. And he said "oh, so you’re gonna be Doing your thing Monday, Tuesday, Wedne...
Read more

Response to the non-apology

I appreciate the email. I appreciate you being able to calmly, rationally, non-violently explain what is “wrong.” I do not appreciate how you choose to do it in real life and face-to-face. I agree, we feel the way we feel. We are all entitled that. Should we be able to talk and vent to each other? Of course. But, there’s an unspoken respect that that also needs to be present—one where name calling, yelling, condescension, swearing is checked at the door. I know you’re not happy. But honestly, I feel like you are never happy. There’s always something wrong. There’s always something that can be improved on. There’s rarely ever a time where you’re satisfied or just take the win for what it is. I’ve said this MANY times before: sometimes it’s OK to just be OK and enjoy/savor the little things. Not everything needs to be one-upped. Not everyone is out to get you or take advantage of you.  And, if you live your life expecting only the best 24/7, you’re going to be let down majority of th...
Read more