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A Wrench Has Been Thrown

Craziness. I was feeling strong. I was feeling confident. I was feeling like I was somewhat accepting my "fate" or future or whatever you want to call it. Then, the week before Poland arrived...he changed. We're talking hard stop. 180-degree about face. And, it has been amazing. He has been 100% calm, cool, and collected. He hasn't gotten on my case about what Charlie's eating (or moreover NOT eating). He hasn't freaked out about the house being a mess. He hasn't pushed for sex/affection and gotten upset and angry when it wasn't received. He's been...normal. What a husband should be. And, the big thing is I am not doing anything different than I had been. So I've just been living and being me. This is all his change.  It's also important to note he 1. Has family here and 2. Is NOT at work. And, I have said all along, it's work that is making him so miserable. But, right now he is HAPPY. He is FUN to be around. We even just laid on the b...
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Life's been a crazy ball of wax...

It has definitely been a mixed bag the past month or two.  The Silence: One of my best friends just up-and-stopped talking to me. No clue why. It was bizarre. We talked in the middle of June, then I texted her the night before her anniversary...and the text showed sent through SMS...not IOS. The last time that happened, I had been blocked. I tried to shake it off, texted her and her hubby the next day on their anniversary, and only he responded...I've called, left messages, reached out to her husband, and tried on social...crickets. No clue. But I really miss her and am PRAYING that there will be some light shed on the situation. Therapist "Conclusion": Definite double entendre with that one. I haven't talked to Kacie or Josh in well over a month--maybe even two months. But, it hasn't been bad. I actually feel like my mind is clearer WITHOUT the "help" they provide. And, I also feel a bit more at peace, too. I'm guessing because I'm not constantl...
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From Villain to Hero?

Well, tomorrow's the big "Amanda" day. Mom is coming with me.  I started thinking that maybe instead of the villain of my story, perhaps I need to look at it as being the hero of my story? Not to say this is a rah rah situation by any means, but if we're not happy, and things don't get or stay better, maybe it's time to be the one to say, HEY, we gave it our all, but it's time to move on? Rip off the bandaid. Stop being miserable and seek what will make us happy.  He says he loves me more than anything and he would NEVER intentionally hurt me, but he doesn't see what he's like when he gets pissed. I guess the other thing is at least I'll have all my info and what not and if it comes down to it, play the "you need anger management/outside therapy" card or else XYZ. It's so hard because there are good days and bad days. Of course when other people are around we are this perfect couple. It feels good at the time, but then it kinda hi...
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