Air Mai - Under the Surface

So, historically, there have always been flare ups around the holidays...any holiday...every holiday. Thought after having a good Easter, Birthday, and Mother's Day maybe, jusssssst maybe we had gotten past the shenanigans? NOPE! Not even kinda... Last night was a SHIT SHOW. SHIT. FUCKING. SHOW. I told him that I needed to get something off my chest and explained that he is absolutely able to talk to me and tell me anything, but saying "That's not good enough for me" realllllly got under my skin and it bothered me. He apologized. I said thanks. The rest of the night felt weird. I was quiet. He seemed off. Charlie was hot and cold with him. It just felt unsettled.  So after getting Charlie to bed he asked what I wanted to do. I said "why don't you go to the bedroom." He said no, I've been in a bad mood all night.And, I said no, I really wasn't. I said what I needed to say and felt fine. "Well, it doesn't feel that way." Flash forward...

 Life has been going pretty damn nicely. We had K's bday AND our anniversary with no hiccups (hooooray)! But, nothing can last forever...minor hiccup last night that I am still bitter about. The first part of the issue was that I said something that he took out of context. He was talking to me about the faucet spicket he had to replace and that he had a 50/50 of getting it right. I said "Are you a gamblin' man?" But I meant it as a joke. And, it's something I normally say whenever there is a 50/50 set of odds. Anywho, he took that as me not being supportive or believing in him. It's funny because I could tell something was off from a text. He didn't even say anything bad, just how he worded it.  Then, the bitter moment happened later. We played in the pool for a while and then went upstairs where we were going to have some "us" time (more like him time because he asked for it and I was like ok, whatever) but anywho...so we went upstairs and were ...

 Fuck ups are annoying...especially when you're the party at fault. Long story long, I got drunk last night and was reportedly mean to him. However, he says I was saying all this SERIOUSLY weird shit--shit that I would NEVER say nor have any clue how it'd pop in my head to say it. So part of me is like ummmmmmm, you're lying. But, the other part is like ok, why would he make that up. And, I said IF I did say anything like that it was probably to be joking. However, he says he repeatedly told me I was being mean and I have NO recollection of that what so ever.  So, did it happen? He sure was pissy and irritated, but what he says I said is SO out of character for me--it's not even in the same realm as me. Very odd. He seems ok now. I apologized. But, yeesh. As per normal, I feel awful and am trying not to dwell on it to make things worse, but UUUUGHHH. He definitely got nitpicky this morning with things I always have to clean up after you two.  I thought you were going to...