Trying Not to be Bitter...

 Life has been going pretty damn nicely. We had K's bday AND our anniversary with no hiccups (hooooray)! But, nothing can last forever...minor hiccup last night that I am still bitter about. The first part of the issue was that I said something that he took out of context. He was talking to me about the faucet spicket he had to replace and that he had a 50/50 of getting it right. I said "Are you a gamblin' man?" But I meant it as a joke. And, it's something I normally say whenever there is a 50/50 set of odds. Anywho, he took that as me not being supportive or believing in him. It's funny because I could tell something was off from a text. He didn't even say anything bad, just how he worded it. 

Then, the bitter moment happened later. We played in the pool for a while and then went upstairs where we were going to have some "us" time (more like him time because he asked for it and I was like ok, whatever) but anywho...so we went upstairs and were brushing teeth etc. and he went to the bedroom and I asked him if he could help me cut Charlie's nails...he said ok, we went to do it, didn't work out, went back to our room. And, he was laying in bed with the lights on. I climbed in next to him and he said "no, never mind. Not tonight."

Ummmm, ok. I asked if he was ok and he said yes. Then, I turned the lights off and he said no. He brought up the 50/50 issue earlier and that Charlie was a GREMLIN to him (which is true, he was)and that he had a really bad night and was hoping just once I could make things about HIM. "You couldn't do Charlie's nails yesterday or tomorrow? It had to be tonight? Why can't you ever make me a priority or make me feel important?" Ummmm, totally not intentional. 

He then followed up with "I don't get it twice a week. I barely get a BJ once a month, so if it's going to happen I want it to be good. Not rushed..." And, in my head I'm thinking oooookkkk, not really something I want to take forever with. Then he ended with, "...Because you know what? That's not good enough for me."

Those last 6 words reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllly got under my skin and I need to bring it up to him and chance the fight that will happen. It's not good enough for you? I'm sorry. You can't force me to be in the mood or want to get you off. I tried to keep it light and gave him a kiss and said I'm sorry if I made you feel unimportant, that wasn't my intention. And, went to sleep. 

I woke up with the words ringing in my ears and cannot shake them. Not good enough for you? Deal with it! If it's a deal breaker, then we need to talk and figure out next steps because just because we're married doesn't mean I have to be a call girl. Are we getting less than we did before Charlie? YES! But, we're also getting some so it's not like he doesn't get anything for months and years! Not good enough for me...Wow. 

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