Good grief, the uneeded shenanigans!

Preface:So I’m trying to revise the way I do things. So instead of asking for permission for something I’m going to nicely just kind of lead in with this is what I’m going to do. Because I shouldn’t have to ask for permission to do things. Not to say I'd be all "HERE IS WHAT I'M DOING! DEAL WITH IT!" But less ask permission, more ease into this is what I'd like to do.

So Tuesady night I said hey, do you have any plans on Monday night or anything going on? He said no why. I said well Bev would like to take me out to dinner for my birthday. He said OK...but why can’t you take you Tuesday? (Which is our normal night to get together because we do pilates.)  I’m like well we have pilates Tuesday and he said exactly. And I just kind of gave him the look and he said no it’s fine. So then as we’re getting ready for bed, I was like oh and don’t forget I have Cousin Jen coming in Friday night. And he said "oh, so you’re gonna be Doing your thing Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, AND Friday?! Oh, that’s going to be a great week." With a typical Kattitude. I just let it go and go to bed.

Flash forward to Wednesday and we were playing with Charlie and I could tell he suddenly got weird and he said tonight, can we please make sure Marisa is gone by 8:15pm like we discussed, because it’s been getting later and later and last week was like 8:25pm. And I said absolutely. Last week she was helping me with something on my phone, but yes, 100%. But then I got quiet because I got a little annoyed that I had to have a "curfew" per se. He asked me what was wrong a few times and I kept saying nothing because he wasn’t ready to explain.


So we’re in the kitchen and I had time to process so I’m like OK, I understand this is "wrong" but the reason I got quiet was because I got upset that I have a curfew. But I know that’s not fair because it’s something I agreed to so I just had to take a few minutes to process my thoughts. But yea. 


He lost his shit.


Turns into how I’m so selfish and I only think about myself and Wednesday is HIS night, if I wanna hang out with her, go over her house. And I said you’re absolutely right! Because yes, we did have this conversation before. (Just want to side note, when Risa started coming over Wednesdays to grocery shop, he would typically be gone the entire time she was here. Then, suddenly, he started coming home earlier and earlier. But that’s neither here or there.)


It kept escalating and I could tell I was getting into "whatever" mode but I couldn’t handle it anymore. Because then it turned into I am such a selfish person all ever think about is doing stuff with me or my friends. I’ll hang around with Marisa for five hours, but I don’t see him all day, and I’m already trying to get away. But then it’s like OK, do you want time to yourself? Or do you want me home? That makes no sense.


He also started mudslinging with the "when’s the last time you actually helped weed or do anything outside. Or when is the last time you cooked? Throw something in the crockpot for God's sake so we actually have something to eat for lunches!" And, while yes, I can understand that, I’m thinking we have a freezer FULL of food that #1 I thought we agreed to try and eat through and #2 so far we have not gone hungry for lunches or dinners… 


I really am just done. Things are going well because nothing was being said and then there’s just a flareup. It's annoying. And, yes, he can feel the way he feels. Just as I can feel the way I feel, but it's just reaching/ed the tipping point. 


One of my friends made a good point: we both want different things in a marriage. I need a guy who is not clingy, who enjoys together time BUT also alone time. And, when we first started dating THAT is what I had! Need to keep that in my back pocket. Because I remember wanting to do more with him and he was the one who was OK with apart time. Not to be a dick, but we see each other plenty. We are together 24/7 most weekends and most nights. 


He was staying downstairs so I'd miss him, but I didn't. I didn't because I felt like I could relax and breathe. Sigh. Stay tuned...

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