Mt. Etna and Mt. Ria...2 Sicilian Eruptions in 1 Week

So my birthday definitely did not turn out the way I anticipated. It was a fun day and then K came home early by about an hour and asked if I wanted to “play “and I said I had stuff I had to get done for work, which was not a lie. Then around 4 o’clock a white SUV pulls in the driveway and K said he thinks that’s Aunt Nancy, so I texted mom and she said yes, she mentioned stopping over to drop off some kind of food. No big deal.

So I let her in and offer her a glass of wine and she sat down and said I thought your mom was going to be here and then I explained Charlie time to her and then I asked K to come upstairs and say hi. So he comes up and then Charlie and mom get here and I offer her something to drink. So we're all sitting at the counter and I could just sense K getting upset. Just the vibe I was getting.

Another point of order: Aunt Nancy had mentioned something when she got here about not realizing it was my birthday and had she known she would’ve brought dinner. Again, no big deal, I don’t really care. But that “triggered" K and the night went to shit quite quickly. 

Mom, AN, and I went outside on the porch and then I came back inside to check on him and he was sitting at the counter by himself (in the dark) looking all pissy/pouty and I asked what was going on and he just got mad because Aunt Nancy didn’t recognize it was my birthday and how could she not know!? She lied to our face, blah blah blah.

Whatever. So I go outside and I was visibly upset and mom saw that so then she went outside and had words with K. Afterwards, he pulled me aside and said he was sorry and I just ERUPTED. 

I am not happy and this (gesturing to him) THIS is why our friends don't come over or don't have us over. I told him things in a mean way, so I do feel guilty about that, but just generally it was like seriously? How could you be so rude like that?! The reason we don’t have friends asking us over is because of him because of that kind of attitude-- when he’s tired of them, he’s done and it makes everyone feel uncomfortable. And, I know you don’t care but you should! Then I really lost it and said I am not happy and I can’t keep doing this. HE needs to get his shit figured out because this is not working and I can't keep doing this. I also said that I don’t throw around the "r" word lightly, but you absolutely ruined my birthday. He apologized and I told him he needs to get his shit together and that means talking to someone for better ways to deal with this kind of stuff because he doesn’t handle "inconvenience" well. 

Hugs and kisses, apologies, promise, whatever things are OK...Until it starts to sink in with him. I see him getting quiet and brooding. So I’m trying to keep things light and that’s not working and we go to bed. I’m laying on his chest and I said his heartbeat sounds fast and asked if he's ok and he said "NO. Not really, You said a lot of things and I’m still processing." I said OK and I just let it go and then fell asleep. Not restful sleep for anyone, mind you.

So this morning he gets up and gives me a big hug and we go outside and have coffee and he asked did you mean everything you said. And I said I’m sorry I did not mean for anything to be hurtful but for the most part yes. 

When it came to friends in having us over, I said flat out the reason Becky and Brian don’t have us over because when we get there it’s like right after dinner, it’s like you just wanna go home and that makes them feel awkward. Bev and Mark the same thing. But Bev can read the room and knows when it’s time to go. But that’s still not right. 

And he said we have a baby people shouldn’t be staying all night and I said well there’s better ways of dealing with that and he said yes but it’s also hard when you’re drinking. And I let that go because he’s right. If I’m having fun I don’t wanna be told to stop. However… I’ve cut back exponentially tons so it’s a moot point if you ask me.

He also said AN lied and insulted us by saying she didn't realize it was my bday and that she shouldn't have dropped by unnannounced or mom should have given us a heads up. But, I said, we can't control people! If they show up, they show up! "Well, what if we were in the bedroom, would she be standing outside listening to us bc the windows were open?! Or, what if you were walking around naked?!" I'm thinking DUDE...seriously? He doesn't realize that just because this is our home, it doesn't mean we can just go balls-to-the-walls carefree and act like there's no one else in the world but us. 

He did admit that he was selfish and made the bday about him and what he wanted and for that he was sorry…BUT he had things planned to make the night special and they shouldn’t have stayed that long. And I was like DUDE. It was ME who asked them to stay for a drink. How the hell was I supposed to know? ANd, again...it's a matter of how you handle "inconveniences."

We were supposed to have a call with Josh Friday. But now it's going to just be those 2. He really does need to get his shit figured out. He asked me if I’m so miserable and we haven’t fought in weeks what else can be done. And I said the truth, I’m trying to figure that out. 

(Because I really don’t know if I can be happy with him in general anymore --  I didn't say that tidbit, but that's what's behind it all).